“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful parts of us.” (David Richo) Therapy As Weapon My name has apparently become a threat. As in, “Does Tiffany Sankofa know you act like this??” “Keep it up! I’m going to tell Tiffany...
Al·che·my / ˈ alk ə mē/ noun 1. The medieval forerunner of chemistry, based on the supposed transformation of matter. It was concerned particularly with attempts to convert base metals into gold or to find a universal elixir. Similar: Chemistry , magic , sorcery ,...
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” (Albert Einstein) No Therapist, you may NOT have a life. I met Tiffany Sankofa seven years ago...
Sometimes we get so used to words that we look right through them. Have you ever really thought about the word, “’belonging?” We long to be. Just, to be; To be who we are, and still find ourselves connected to others. Isn’t that the dream? Belonging. Are you longing to be? To be seen? To be valued? To be joined? To be embraced? Some people are longing to be left alone, feeling crowded out by people who are nearby, but not safe-enough people to just “be” with. Our places of belonging hold up a mirror to show us who we are, what gifts we bring, and how we fit into something bigger than ourselves. Belonging shapes our sense of purpose and our sense of identity.
“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.” (Chief Seattle, 1854) COVID marathon number six… I don’t know about you...
Moving Forward (When You’re Stuck Behind a Truck) ... I did the best I could with what was in front of me and kept moving forward. The Universe has hilarious timing… In 1990, I earned a B.A. in Broadcasting Arts. I never worked in Broadcasting....
I hate snow. I hated snow through much of my childhood, then I hated it in Ohio for a year. By the time I had gotten through three years of living in Chicago? I was through . I've been utterly done with snow since at...
I have worked with sexual abuse and rape survivors throughout my nearly 20 year career as a psychotherapist. I am currently working with a number of survivors who are being triggered by the latest Catholic church abuse revelations and the vitriol public fury fest over...
Let’s start with the numbers . One in every six Americans is dealing with mental illness. Women are more likely to be affected than men. In any group of 100 women, 21 of them are fighting for their mental health. But the stigma we place...
About those Hallmark holidays... My Mom hated them. She saw the game for what it is - Hallmark and other retail businesses exploiting some important piece of our lives for profit, manipulating us to try to make us feel bad if we don't fork over...
In the process of writing my wedding vows this morning, I started reviewing the last five years of my relationship with my fiancé and how we’ve grown together. It occurs to me that one of the biggest catalysts for growth and positive relationship together has...
It's so easy for the clutter of our lives and our ambitions to create chaos and stress. We want to do and accomplish and change the world for good, but it just never seems like there's enough time for it all. I wanted to share...
Mother’s Day is complicated for an awful lot of people. This isn’t exactly surprising considering that mother issues tend to be equally complicated. Mother’s Day brings all of that unresolved muck rushing to the forefront as the culture around us screams out demands that we...
Hearts are amazing things. When they break, it feels as though we can never be whole again. What we previously knew as love gets dashed on the rocks, shattered into a millions fragments and scattered all over the landscape of our lives. It feels at...
We can be the caring, savvy, thoughtful, patient person in the lives of those around us, but only up until we hit *that* wall. Then it’s all teeth, claws and craziness. I’ll own that. In owning this reality, we have the opportunity to do something...
People come into my office all the time feeling guilty about procrastinating on important goals. “I’m just lazy,” they say. Let me just put this out there on the table: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LAZINESS. Labeling ourselves as “lazy” is a shame-based trap...
If you’re reading this, I already know that one of your goals is to be a good parent. Kudos! On behalf of all of us who will share this orb with your children in their lifetimes, thank you! One of the single most important things...
Have you given up on your New Year’s Resolutions yet? (Doesn’t that sound horribly pessimistic?) The raw reality is that New Year’s Resolutions set us up for failure, not success. New Year’s resolutions imagine that we are actually ready for the change we want, and...
It is officially gift-giving season around these parts. For some, it is an Olympic sport. Joey gave something THIS big to Veronica, so now Veronica has to give something even bigger to Joey. So then Joey feels compelled to give even more to Veronica, even...
Happy happy happy! Joyful joyful joyful! ‘Tis the season to … …Be depressed out of your mind because it seems as though the whole planet is spending their time with magical, loving, warm families engaged in holiday traditions, while you are carrying an oppressive lump...
No one on earth has more power to infuriate us than our own child. Why do you suppose? Are they psychically imprinted with some manual to the circuitry of our emotional centers? Is this all some diabolical scheme to drive all of the grown ups...
Click here for an exceptional article on how to help those who are grieving, written by Megan Devine: How to Help a Grieving Friend: 11 Things to Do When You’re Not Sure What to Do
What are you worth? How do you estimate that? Most people that I encounter believe, (in theory,) that human beings are priceless. However, when it comes to self-assessment, those same people will try to gauge their worth in terms of what they produce, how much...
Where do feelings come from? Do they simply drop out of the sky and invade our minds? Is there some rampant toddler storming through our minds picking emotions off of a shelf and throwing them into play in our lives? Feelings often seem to be...
“But I’m a Mom! I HAVE to worry!!” I have a number of clients, friends and colleagues who come from cultures where parents, and especially mothers, are tacitly trained to believe that worrying about their kids is required, as it validates how deeply they care...
Growing up, I often heard the phrase, “Don’t trust your feelings!” as if feelings were some alien invader intent on destroying our lives. In truth, feelings are simply the chemical firings in our bodies that correlate with our assessments of situations. In a way, they...
Fear has the ability to derail us like few other emotions. It sneaks in and infiltrates our thinking without our awareness at times. We feel, “passionate” about an issue; convinced of a cause. When we peek behind the curtain, however, we find Fear quietly pulling...
I’m glad you’re here. I will be using this space to share bits of encouragement, helpful tools for managing challenging situations, and sometimes just sharing interesting things I’ve learned along the way in almost half a century of living, and more than 15 years of...