Why Settle for New Year’s Resolutions?

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars and change the world.”

(Harriet Tubman) We Can Do Better I’m grateful that a lot of people have abandoned the practice of setting New Year’s Resolutions.I’ve been saying for years that this is a set up for disappointment, discouragement and self-doubt. I’ve done a series of reels that you can find on YouTube or Instagram on how we actually make change, as opposed to how we think we make change. I am in the midst of creating a whole course from the “Making Sense out of Change” steps that can help us make lasting changes in our lives.

The bottom line is this: No matter how much we think we want certain changed habits or changed patterns in our lives, it is not as simple as making up our cranial brains and doing something different. We are a lot more complex and complete than that.

Digging Deeper We want things to be better. We want ourselves to be better. We aspire to growth and greater fulfillment. These are excellent concepts that have the potential to yield wonderful results, but identifying them is only the beginning.

Let’s turn it all inside out.

Instead of scoping the outward expression of our lives and looking for ways to do it all better, let’s turn our attention to our fundamental values, and let the changes emerge from there. You will get better, more complete answers to the questions you have around improving your life.

Consider This Here are a few questions for you to ponder:

  • What positive changes would you like to see in the world around you?
  • Are there habits or conditions in your life that keep you from being part of making that change?
  • What matters to you?
  • Think about the things that have commanded time in your day. What do those activities reveal about your priorities? Your actual priorities?
  • Are those time choices in line with what you want to be true about your values? If not, what changes would you need to make in order to get them in better alignment?

Shallow Goals Fail I can hear you now, “But I just want to lose a little weight!” But why? Do you feel like there is something inadequate about you at your current size? If so, that noxious shame is your change point, not your weight. Say instead that you want to lose weight because the weight you are currently carrying makes it hard to be the kind of active parent you want to be. That can fuel an ongoing motivation that carries you past the times when you want to give up.

Can you see how doing this deeper dive before deciding on change points can serve you?

The Bigger Picture Each person on Earth has an opportunity to be a positive influence on the world around them. I find that people are often most effective as agents of positive change in the culture when they are the healthiest, more candid versions of themselves that they can be. Whatever those changes that you want to make for yourself are, they will inevitably have positive impact on those around you.

Think about it this way - Say you want to stop smoking cigarettes. If you succeed, you will very likely live longer and have more time to do the things you want to do while you’re here. You will also be spending a boatload less money each week. Think of the positive ways you can invest that money, potentially giving some away to good causes, or even shoring up your own financial stability and freedom so that you have more options with how you spend your time. You’ve also stopped contributing to the ill health of those who are exposed to secondhand smoke. They might live longer and achieve other positive things in the world that they could not if they ended up spending years battling a consequent cancer.

The ripples roll out from the center of your change, affecting the entire “pond” of human folk in ways that you will never even know about. You made a robust and viable plan to quit smoking in your own interests, but look what else happened?

As the saying goes: “All things affect all things.”

Making Sense Out of Change In order to execute any lasting change, you need a structured plan that will help you set yourself up for success at each step of the process. If only there were a program like that! Oh… Wait… https://youtu.be/KV59cIrfxF0. Contact me if I can help you put that plan together. Let’s change the world together, starting with improving ourselves.